On September 14, 2006, I was in the midst of a 218-consecutive-day hospitalization. What began as a scheduled C-section that April, resulted in a massive infection that nearly killed me. By Autumn, I was receiving physical therapy in the large hospital gym when I was raced back up to my room for my trach to be suctioned. This was not an uncommon occurrence. I was used to the process, and while unpleasant, in the past I had always been able to gasp for air. This time was different though, as my airway was suddenly completely blocked. I couldn’t breathe at all! Sheer panic surged through me, as I heard the nurse call for the emergency response team. “We’ve got a patient coding.”
My nurse was incredible. She remained completely calm and kept reassuring me that I would be able to breathe soon. My eyes darted all around, in desperation and panic. Once again, I heard the emergency response team stampeding down the hall (a sound I had become all too familiar with). The team gathered around as my nurse worked with the suctioning device to try to unplug the mucus that had blocked my airway. For a moment, the plug was released, I could breathe, then, the suction device lost its grip and my airway was once again blocked. This went on for what seemed like forever. I kept thinking that this would be a terrible way to die. After all, I had been through, to choke to death on my own mucus would really suck. I was also repelled by the disgustingness of it all. I was no longer human. I was nothing but a machine that kept breaking down. The doctors and nurses were digging around with a suction device, as if I were a shoddy toilet with malfunctioned plumbing. That’s what I was, an old toilet that was ready for the dumpster. Finally, they successfully suctioned out the mucus plug, and I could breathe.
I collapsed in a heap of total despair and exhaustion. The doctor looked at me: “Lisa, we are going to need to send you back up to the ICU so that you can be more closely monitored.”
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