Aristotle said, “To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.”
Sometimes I wish I was nothing; surely that would just be so much easier. I screw up all of the time. And I hate it. My latest gaffe was killing our simulated patient by causing him to aspirate. I’m sure no one else in my group is still perseverating on the events that unfolded during the sim. I also really hope that the attending doesn’t remember my mistake or me for that matter.
But what really keeps me awake at night and on the edge of panic, is that I can’t let it go. I berate myself about everything that went wrong, every detail, every person who might now have figured out that I don’t belong among the ranks of my bright and talented peers. My inability to forgive myself for my mistakes and learn from them is starting to annoy me and everyone around me. And you know it’s bad when even you think you’re annoying.
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