Every month or two I see a patient, usually a man with prostate cancer, who is concerned that if he has intercourse with his spouse, he will give her cancer. The question is asked with sincerity, and I can see the worry in the man’s eyes. His spouse is often equally worried but she often looks embarrassed too, almost as if she knows that he’s worried unnecessarily … but what if he’s not? I understand why they’re worried — it almost makes sense if you think about things very literally — and along with other questions about anatomy and physiology that I hear, this provides an opportunity to educate, inform, and dispel the myths, untruths, and worries that laypeople have about their bodies and cancer.
Last week I saw a woman who had been treated for tonsillar cancer. She’d been treated over the fall and was finally feeling well enough to think about getting back to what her normal life used to be. It is at this point in the cancer trajectory that I usually see people who have questions about resuming their sex lives. They may have tried to be sexual with their partner and discovered that something didn’t feel right or was downright painful. Or perhaps they didn’t feel anything at all and are worried that this is how it is going to be forever.
She appeared nervous, fidgeting in the chair, twisting the edges of her sweater, not really making eye contact.
“What I want to know is … I wonder if you could tell me …” her voice was small and soft and edged with hesitancy.
I gestured with my hand that she should continue.
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